A Bada Bing Plot: Iotaspace Finale
*Scene shows the bar where everyone, except Trisha and Iota, are still looking around the bar*
Lap: DAMN IT! *slams her head on the bar* I can’t find them…I…I…
Dawn: If their essences are no longer here it would mean that the probe along with ULX, Stacy, Tiff, and CX are…
Lap: *starts to cry* D-D-D-D…
Manami: *holds Lap* Hey, don’t worry they have be still around here, right?
Red: Doubtful, face it…they’ve reached the great beyond
Rena: Kicked the bucket
Cross: Crossing that eternal pa-
*Lap breaks down and cries*
Manami: WAY TO BE COMPASSIONATE YOU GUYS!
Lap: *glares at Nick* THIS IS ALL NICK’S FAULT!
Nick: WHAT!?
Lap: IF YOU HADN’T MADE THAT INSENSITIVE JACK-ASS, MY FRIENDS WOULD STILL BE HERE!
Nick: HEY! IF YOU HADN’T MADE A PROBE WITH A WII INSIDE OF IT, THEN MAYBE THEY WOULD STILL BE HERE!
Lap: …*tears up*…Waaahhhh *runs off crying*
Isura: Wayyyyy to be sensitive Nick.
Nick: Hey, it was either be sensitive to people or defend myself from people who think I’m wrong…in the end, I made the best decision.
Rena: Yea, shame everyone always thinks you’re wrong.
Nick: That’s cause you’re all jerks
*Trisha and Iota walk in*
Trisha: Guys, I found this blue hair in my jail cell
Cross: Ahh, so you have learned something from me
Iota: Quiet
Edge: Soooooo…were you a prison bitch?
Trisha: Almost
Edge: HA!
Iota: SHUT UP!
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*Scene cuts back into the ship*
ULX: Alright, we’re back inside the bar!
Stacy: Now Lap can make us big again and life will return to normal.
Tiff: Finally this can all be over
*Moment of silence*
ULX: *looks at CX* You’re gonna fuck with bar and drive Iota insane aren’t you?
CX: Hey ship, we have any sexual and or gay songs?
Ship Computer: Affirmative…Lap put them in order to christen the ship with you CX
ULX, Stacy, and Tiff: TOO. MUCH. INFORMATION!
Stacy: Wait…why are there gay songs to ch-
CX: IN ANY CASE, *devious grin* Let’s see how far we can keep this going for.
Stacy: You do realize the minute Iota figures out it’s us, he’s gonna hurt us
*CX looks at Stacy with a brow raised*
Stacy: …Good point.
CX: Isn’t it?
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*Scene cuts back to the bar*
Iota: *sits down* So…can I get a drink, or what?
Cris: I dunno, you really think you deserve a drink?
Iota: You have NO IDEA what kinda day I had!
Manami: Good, sounds like karma is biting you on the ass for killing your friends
Iota: Pfft, nah that’s not it
Edge’s Voice (Fake): HEY IOTA!
Iota: *turns to Edge* WHA-
*Suddenly “Sexual Healing” starts playing as Iota looks at Edge*
Iota: *turns back shocked and horrified* … *looks back at Edge and hears “I Believe in Miracles.”*
Edge: What the fuck are you looking at?
Iota: *turns away* N-NOTHING…
Edge: Okay…
Iota: …*looks at Edge and hears “You and Me Baby Ain't Nothing But Mammals”, then looks away* …Great, just fucking….great. *breathes in then screams and slams his head onto the bar*
Nick: What the fuck is wrong with you!?
Iota: *glares at Nick* I AM GOING COMPLETELY FUCKING INSANE!
Nick: I mean what’s going on with you recently?
Isura: *pats Iota’s back* Calm down, Iota, maybe you’re just stressed…maybe deep deep down you’re stressed because you killed ULX, CX, Tiff, and Stacy.
Iota: …No that’s not it…*slams face into the bar*
Isura’s Voice (Fake): You know if you want to be less stressed, I could give you a nice polish down south
Iota: *jumps out of his seat* ISURA!
Isura: What?
Iota: You…and with…and the…
Isura: Yeaaaaaa?
Iota: *looks away shaking his head* N-Nothing…
Isura’s Voice (Fake): Yea, sorry that was out of line, how about you give my carpet a good licking?
Iota: *looks at Isura* WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!? WE’RE FAMILY!
Isura: …Iota…what the fuck is wrong with you?
Iota: I-I…*goes on his knees, sobbing* I DON’T FUCKING KNO-O-OW!
Lap: *comes in* What is with all the no- *looks at Iota* Oh…it’s the murderer
Cris: Tellin ya, karma kicks you in the crotch every time
Iota: I punched a baby, thought an old lady was hitting on me, along with Isura and Trisha
Trisha and Isura: WAIT WHAT!?
Iota: And now every time I look at Edge, I…wait *looks at Edge and hears “Y-M-C-A” then looks away* Yep, and every time I look at Edge I hear sexual and gay songs
Edge: Called it, totally called it
Iota: QUIET!
Edge: Aww, what’s the matter…not happy unless there’s a co-
Iota: *punches Edge right in the face* DO NOT EVEN FUCKING SAY IT BITCH!
Lap: Huh…wow…you might be going through a psychotic breakdown…good
Iota: *regains his composure a little*…Huh, wondering when that was gonna happen. But still it all happened after I got stabbed in the back of my ears and eyes *places his face into his hand* I don’t know what’s going on!
Lap: Huh…strange, it’s almost as if you have the probe with guys inside of it inside of you. What a coincidence…
*Moment of silence*
Iota: *raises his head up slowly, eye literally red* What!?
Lap: …Hey…the guys must be inside of you! *looks at Iota with happiness* That means they’re not dead!
Iota: …Oh…that’s…lovely…
*Scene cuts inside of the ship*
Ship Computer: Warning, blood pressure and stress levels far beyond body’s maximum capacity
Stacy: So…what does that mean?
CX: It means cover your ears…
*Scene cuts back to the bar*
Iota: *eye twitching* Excuse me *gets up and slowly walks outside*
Lap: What’s his problem?
Isura: My best bet, he’s gonna blow his top
Iota’s Voice: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
*Scene cuts to the universe*
Iota’s Voice: FUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!
*Scene cuts to Solid Snake [MGS] and Otacon [MGS]*
Snake: …what the hell was that?
Otacon: My best bet…I think someone yelled so loud that he shatter the universe…it’s been known to happen in some Manga and Anime
Snake: You SERIOUSLY need to move out of your parents’ basement.
Otacon: SHUT UP! They live with me!
Snake: rrrright
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*Scene cuts to Iota entering the bar fuming*
Iota: I am going to fucking kill them all!
Stacy’s Voice: I would LOVE to see you do that, love!
Iota: SILENCE!
ULX’s Voice: Look Iota, you tipped us, so in a way it is karma
Iota: DID IT HAVE TO BE SO SEVERE!?
ULX’s Voice: Well let me see, Stacy broke my arm because of you
Stacy’s Voice: I basically lost a great bottle of scotch because of you
Tiff’s Voice: And I lost all my saves…again, because of you
CX’s Voice: AND I…just don’t like you really
Iota: *eye twitch, glaring at Lap* GET. THEM. OUT!
Lap: Chill your tiny balls! Listen, CX, I need you to navigate to Iota’s nose, if you can!
CX’s Voice: Roger that
Iota: He says he’s going
Kyo: Wait…they’re going to escape from Iota’s nose…how?
Red: He has a point…they’re possibly in the blood stream
Lap: I know
Red: But blood doesn’t come out of the nose
Lap: *cracks her knuckles* Not with a unbroken nose, at least
Iota: …Fuck off…I’ve been through enough today!
ULX’s Voice: Iota it’s either we escape from your nose, or we continue fucking with your head until you die
CX’s Voice: And with the current amount of alcohol in your blood, that should be at about age forty five
Iota: …*raises his chin* Okay hit me
CX’s Voice: We’re in position!
Iota: They’re in sexual position…
Stacy’s Voice: Don’t make me hurt you Iota!
Iota: HA! HOW!?
Ship’s Computer’s Voice: Disbursing electrical current
*Suddenly Iota is electrocuted*
Iota: FUCKING OW! Stop that and let a robot punch me in the face!
Lap: Good *punches Iota in the face*
Iota: *falls to the floor, with a bloody nose* OW! Did it have to be that hard?
Lap: No…but consider THAT my retribution
Iota: Lovely
Lap: *grabs a towel and dabs the blood with a smile* I got you guys!
Iota: Great, what about the things stabbed in my eyes and ears
Lap: What the transmitters? Oh they’ll self-destruct
Iota: Go-WAIT WHAT!? *eye twitches and falls to the floor in pain* OH GOD IT BURNS! MY EARS, MY EYES! SON OF A BITCH!
Lap: Ahhh, fun times!
Iota: I hate you all!
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*Scene cuts to Everyone going into Lap’s Lab, Lap placing the towel on the table then extracting nothing from it and putting it on a platform, then runs off*
Iota: *holding his nose* I’M FINE THANK YOU!
Rena: No one really cares!
Iota: So I’ve seen
Lap: All of you, shut up…now let’s hope they can grow! *flips a nearby switch*
*Suddenly a beam of light blasts the platform for a few seconds, before fading revealing the probe covered in blood*
Everyone: Ewwww
Sirus: …Hmm…*tastes the blood* …*passes out* I think I’m drunk!
Kyo: Pussy, can’t handle your liquor
Isura: Actually it’s the fact that Iota’s blood is eighty percent alcohol…so…I’m not surprised by this
Nick: Neither am I
*The door to the probe opens up and Stacy, ULX, Tiff, and CX walk out*
CX: WE’RE ALIVE!
Lap: CX! *runs and jumps on CX kissing all over him*
ULX: Alright, alright, get a room you two
Lap: Planning on it!
Iota: When my nose heals I’m gonna-
Stacy: *grabs Iota by the collar* You’ll WHAT!?
Iota: …fffff-fucking fine…but don’t pull this shit again
ULX: Trust me we ever get shrunken down into your body because we were playing a Brawl tournament, we’ll let you know
Iota: Good.
ULX: Now that that is over with…I think-
Tiff: You guys want a rematch?
Stacy: Oh no, Brawl got us into trouble, fuck off
Tiff: Yea, you’re right, I mean all I would do is wipe the floor with you three again, right?
*Moment of silence*
ULX, CX, and Stacy: REMATCH!
*Tiff, ULX, CX, and Stacy all rush towards the T.V*
Lap: *gets up* Ahhh, I’m glad they’re alive.
Iota: …If anyone wants me I’m gonna go drink myself into oblivion to forget this day
Nick: So drink your normal amount?
Iota: Bingo!
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*Scene cuts to GLX [GG] and Cosmos*
Cosmos: Moral here?
GLX: Karma is a bitch, and it’ll bite you in the ass
Cosmos: You say the same thing about life
GLX: Yes, but Life and Karma are brothers I think…fucking up people is what they do.
Cosmos: You know I’d argue…but I have to admit, life does fuck us around a lot
*Moment of silence*
GLX: Iota’s gonna kill me, isn’t he?
Cosmos: Yea, probably
GLX: Fuck
- END -