A Bada Bing Plot: Halloween Slaughterhouse Finale
*Scene shows the study where everyone left looms over Stacy’s body*
Trisha: That son of a bitch! Killing my own sister! *cracks knuckles*
CX: Okay, now we’re pretty fucked…
Nick: Yup
Red: Alright I think we need to separate
Cris: *writes on the board, “Every time we separate we get killed!”*
Kyo: The mute is right
*Cris slams her board on Kyo’s head*
Kyo: OW!
Red: Regardless! If we cover more ground it will help our chances in finding this perpetrator. CX and Lap, you two take the south hall
CX: Can do
Lap: Indeed
Red: Kyo and Cris take the North hall
Kyo: Understood
Cris: *writes on the board, “Got it!”*
Red: Trisha, you, Isura and Nick take the East Hall, seeing how it is the biggest!
Trisha: Hmph, fine
Nick: No problem mass genius
Red: Finally me and Cross will take the West Hall
Cross: Now wait a minute why would I go with y-
Red: The West Hall, that has probably the most lavishly designed treasures and money almost coming out of every wall
Cross: …WHAT THE HELL ARE WE WAITING FOR PEOPLE!? Let’s find that money-I mean Money-I mean money
Red: He means killer
Cross: That’s what I money
*Groups split up*
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*Scene cuts to CX and Lap looking around in rooms*
CX: Here…killer, killer, killer…where aaaaarrreeee you?
Lap: This sucks, most of our friends our dead and out of the five, me and you are the only ones alive…
CX: Look on the bright side Lap
Lap: What bright side?
CX: I finally own a bar! And Iota isn’t around to suck my resources dry!
Lap: Oh yea…awww, that makes me feel really happy
*Both open a door to reveal a bedroom with a huge bed*
CX: …You know…technically it would be such a waste to let a bedroom like this be here and collect dust
Lap: Yes, and plus the slasher did kill the ones who were making out
CX: Who?
Lap: Allison and Amazon
CX: Wait… I thought they were just pu-
Lap: Look do you want to fuck me or don’t you?
CX: Oh, OH! Yea, Allison and Ama-ah fuck it
*Both make out and close the door. Suddenly the ghosts of everyone who died, except Rose appear in the room*
ULX: Wh-Where are we?
Iota: I dunno, another layer of he-
CX’s Voice: Give big daddy what he wants
Lap: Oh big daddy
Ghosts: *looks, then clutch their eyes* SWEET GOD THE HORROR! THE HORROR!
Iota: I NEED A DRINK!
Stacy: DRY ZONE!
Iota: FUUUUUUCCCCKKKKK!
*Scene cuts to Rose with angel wings and a halo looking down on a cloud*
Rose: Oh dear…so that’s what happens when you sin, huh?
Voice: Yup
Rose: Huh…That is hell
Voice: You’re telling me
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*Scene cuts to Nick, Isura, and Trisha creeping around the halls*
Nick: *suddenly stops* …
Isura: *looks back at him* Nick?
Nick: I felt a presence, as if millions of voices screamed out in terror, then were suddenly silenced
Trisha: *sighs* CX and Lap are probably having sex!
Isura: I think that’s what he meant
Nick: *continues to go on ahead* Anyways, we all know they’re dead
Trisha: How the hell do you know they’re dead?
Nick: Are they not in love, despite the craziness?
Trisha: Yea
Isura: They making love?
Trisha: Yeaaa
Nick: Then they’re dead, dead and probably one of them horny…hopefully it’s Lap, cause the alternative frightens me.
Trisha: …Normally I’d decline, but seeing how it’s CX…I agree
Isura: Same
Trisha: *shakes head* But that’s worse case scenario! I mean come on it’s not like I’m gonna open a door and *opens a door* fi-
*The three look inside and see the bedroom where CX and Lap were in, covered in grease and machine parts scattered everywhere. Three blink*
Nick: Does this count as them being naked?
Trisha: Don’t think so…
Isura: It looks like they all were brutally ripped apart, like they saw a great evil…
Trisha: *examines* Funny…I don’t see a mark
Nick: Then who did it? Ghosts?
*Scene cuts to all the members killed already with grease on their hands. All except Stacy and Iota are whistling innocently*
Stacy: I admit it, I killed him…Iota took a leak on CX
Iota: I figured it’s only fair for all the times he’s pissed me off!
*Scene pans to CX and Lap in hell*
CX: I hate all of them right now
Lap: Ditto!
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*Scene cuts to Cross and Red walking down another corridor, Cross having a huge sack of treasure on his back*
Red: Got enough there, buddy boy?
Cross: Enough to last me a life time!
Red: …And how long will it last you really?
Cross: A few hours at best
Red: Hours?
Cross: Sorry, I meant minutes
Red: That’s better
*Sounds of creaking are heard*
Red: Cross…I think we’re gonna die…and he’s gonna steal your loot
Cross: He’ll have to pry them from my cold lifeless hands
Red: I think he will
Cross: That grave robbing son of a bitch, THAT’S MY RACKET!
*Suddenly two figures fall from the ceiling covered in the shadows*
Cross: SON OF A- *Throws a candlestick at the shadows*
Red: Hmm…Cross, flashlight
Cross: What makes you think I have a flashlight? I’m not some kind of petty thief
Red: No, but you are a high class one with kleptomania in your veins
Cross: …*pulls a flashlight out of the bag* When you’re right, you’re right.
*Red takes the flashlight and points it at the shadows showing Kyo and Cris on strings both of looking like they’re delivering a punch to the other. Cris’s board has “Ouch” written on it*
Red: …Interesting…the killer is progressing at an increasing rate.
Cross: What does that mean?
Red: It means by my calculations, we’re fucked beyond all human recognition.
Cross: Well…guess that means we have to leave
Red: Right, I’ll find a way to get us out of here, come on! *starts to head down the hall*
Cross: Right be- *looks down another hall and saw a large golden statue with robies and diamonds encrusted into it* I know this is a trap, and I know that if I go down there something horrible will happen to me…it is only a matter of time!
*Moment of silence*
Cross: On the other hand
*Scene cuts back to hell where Cross [FG1] shows up*
Cross: TOTALLY WORTH IT!
ULX: How the hell did you die? Shouldn’t you have avoided traps and detectors?
Cross: They fired an Ion cannon at me
ULX: That would be the only thing that would stop you wouldn’t it
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*Scene cuts to a giant crater where Isura, Trisha, and Red stand in front of it*
Isura: …Cross died didn’t he?
Red: Shot down by an Ion cannon…damn
Trisha: …excuse the sudden outburst but…*jumps up for joy* WA-HOO! *points at the crater* I HOPE YOU ENJOY A NICE LONG LIFE OF BEING THE DEVIL’S PERSONAL COCK SOCK YOU SON OF A BITCH!
*Moment of silence*
Trisha: *ahem* Sorry about that, I overreacted.
Isura: Overreacted?
Red: …that was more of a vengeance speech
Trisha: Was saving that for Cross’s funeral…it feels good to get that off my chest.
Nick’s Voice: SWEET GOD NO!
Isura: …That was Nick
Red: Well, he’s dead!
Trisha: *sighs* I hate Nick’s gang
*The group rushes down corridors till finally they see Nick drooling from the side of his mouth with something strapped onto his eyes and ears*
Isura: Nick!
Red: Told ya, dead!
Trisha: *examines his neck* Yea…he is dead. Brand’s on him too.
Isura: Hold on *starts to take the devices off of him*
*Nick’s devices come off and Nick’s eyes are bloodshot as well as his ears are bleeding*
Red: Jesus H. Christ…what the hell happened to him?
Isura: *looks at the device* Sweet god…this thing is stuck on playing all of Naruto…
Trisha: Wait, English Dub or Japanese?
Nick: BELIEVE IT!
Isura: That answer your question?
Red: So he’s brain dead…
Isura: *grabs a pipe* Don’t worry, Nick, it’ll be over soon!
Trisha: ISURA! Has that red hair for yours gone to your head?
Isura: Look, Nick has been infected and he told me the minute he acted something like this, that I was to kill him cause living would be a hell he dare not tread
Red: It’s true, he said that countless times
Trisha: Regardless! I’m keeping him alive, perhaps he can tell us something about the perpetrator
Isura: But…
Trisha: NO BUTS! The last thing we need is to kill someone as trivial as a catchphrase
Nick: I’M GONNA MAKE NARUTO AND HINATA LOVE PICS! THEN SOME SASKUKE AND SAKURA ONES TO-
*Trisha pulls a gun out of her dress and shoots Nick between the eyes. Moment of silence*
Red: …For the greater good?
Trisha and Isura: For the greater good!
*Scene cuts in hell where Nick [FG1] is slamming his head on a rock*
Nick: MUST…ERASE…FOUL STENTCH OF EVIL! I CANNOT UNSEE IT!*cries on the floor*
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*Scene shows the three creeping around the house*
Red: Look, I say we get the hell out of here and never look back!
Isura: I second
Trisha: This bastard is not getting away!
Red: DAMN IT TRISHA! This guy has killed almost all of us! It is only a matter of time before we’re next!
Trisha: I’m counting on it!
Red: *sighs* Fine, what’s the plan?
Trisha: We wait till the killer finds us
Red: That’s a horrible plan
Trisha: I’m open to suggestions
Red: …Scooby Doo plan?
Trisha: Other than that.
Red: I guess your plan…since we lack any type of-Where’s Isura?
*Both look back*
Trisha: Isura!?
Red: Shit!
*Both run off to try and find her*
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*Scene cuts to Isura walking down a corridor alone*
Isura: I don’t even know how I got lost…stupid-
*Suddenly a fox appears in front of her*
Isura: Oh…hi there…how are you little guys?
*Suddenly two more foxes show up*
Isura: I see you have a family
*Suddenly five more foxes show up*
Isura: *blinks* Ooooooh kay…
*The foxes then start to change with blood red eyes and sharp fangs*
Isura:…You think I’m afraid of foxes? *puts up her fists* Bring it!
*The foxes lunge at her and Isura punches and kicks them away*
Isura: Ha! That all you got!
*Suddenly someone dressed up as a furry charges and tackles Isura to the ground*
Isura: LET GO OF ME YOU MA-
*The furry places a brand on her cheek*
Isura: …You think you can scare me?
Furry: No…I’m…going to Yiff you to death!
Isura: *wide eyed* What?
Furry: Yiffing time!
*Scene cuts to Red and Trisha, suddenly hearing a loud scream*
Red: …Well…we’re the only ones left alive
Trisha: Damn it! Red…I know you have to know who the killer is!
Red: Of course I do.
Trisha: THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU WANT TO TELL ANYONE OF US!?
Red: *shrugs* I’m a little bit of dick
Trisha: Red, tell me who it is now!
Red: The killer is obviously-
*Suddenly Red is stabbed right through the head with a spear.*
Red: Down…is go *falls on the floor dead*
Trisha: SON OF A-
Voice: It’s a shame, being the smartest man in the world…without a brain
Trisha: *looks up and sees a shadow* You! Of all the people…why you?
Shadow: Easy…to watch the Bada Bing die…*stabs Trisha with a knife in the chest*
Trisha: URK! *grabs the wound* Yo-You…
Shadow: Farwell sweet princess…
*Light shines on the shadow revealing it to be Edward [Twilight] with a smile on his face*
Edward: You will feel no more pain!
Trisha: Damn…you…vampires…
Edward: Justice has just been *puts on sunglasses* served! *cuts through Trisha’s body in half, then laughs manically* Now I shall craft this into my perfect and ultimate world! Full of Twilight fanfiction *laughs insanely*
GLX’s Voice: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
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*Scene cuts back to a bedroom, where GLX [MG1] pops out of bed screaming*
GLX: *panting* Just a dream…just a dream…
GCX: *pops out from underneath the covers* What is this faggotry?
GLX: I had the Twilight dream again
Cosmos: *pops out from underneath the sheets* How long do you expect to beat that horse?
GLX: Till it’s good and dead to the point where every copy is burnt!
Nick: *pops out from underneath the sheets* I approve of this idea!
Edge: *pops out from underneath the sheets* Second!
GLX: Look just tell me the Halloween Party last week was awesome and no one dying
GCX: Iota drank a whole crate of whiskey then started singing the H.M.S Pinafore
GLX: Oh thank me…wait…Iota’s alive!?
Cosmos: Yea!
GLX: Damn! Best part was when he died
Nick: HEY!
GLX: Oh you want a piano to fall on him too
Nick: True…but just enough to push his suffering
Edge: Can we all get some rest, I’m fucking tired
GLX: Agreed, night guys
Rest: Night
*All go underneath the sheets*
GLX: …Guys…
GCX: Yes?
GLX: Why are you all in my bed?
Nick: Cause you got the soft mattress, fucker
Cosmos: Problem?
GLX: Not at all *shuffles around under the sheets then takes off his boxers throwing them across the room*
*Moment of pause*
Rest: GAHHH! *run out of the bed*
Nick: SON OF A BITCH!
GCX: MOTHERFUCKER!
GLX: *laughs* Night bitches!
- END -
Costumes:
ULX - Adam
Blade from Needless
Tiff - Eve
from Needless
Iota - Guile
from Street Fighter
CX - Dr.
Manhattan from Watchmen
Lap - Laurie
(Silk Spectre) from Watchmen
Nick - Dan
from Street Fighter
Trisha - Solva
from Needless
Stacy - Seto
from Needless
Cole - Kittan
from TTGL
Rose - Yoko
from TTGL
Cris - Kuchinashi
from Needless
Kyo - Sagat
from Street Fighter
Edge - Viral from
TTGL
Isura - Cammy
from Street Fighter
Red - Dudley
from Street Fighter
Amazon - The
Boss from MGS3
Allison - EVA from
MGS3
GLX - Lordgenome from TTGL
GCX - Ozymandias
from Watchmen
Cosmos - Boota
from TTGL