A Bada Bing Plot: Halloween Slaughterhouse pt. 2
*Scene shows the group who are still alive in the creepy main hall*
ULX: Okay, so what do we know?
Iota: That there is an evil being psychopath that can and will kill people for amusement. Sort of like Jigsaw, if he was gay.
Edge: I thought Jigsaw was gay
Iota: You think every clown is gay!
Edge: THAT’S CAUSE OF THE NOSE!
Trisha: Would all of you just focus for once! We need to take this person down now, before he does something to any and all of us
ULX: Right, I suggest that we stay together.
Iota: *starts to walk away* I need a drink
ULX: IOTA!
Iota: What, I’m thirsty
Red: Have you not been listening?
Iota: Barely, something about some kind of alien?
Red: Iota, killer, we need to stick together
Iota: Fine…
Red: Good
Iota: After I get my Guinness
Isura: IOTA!
Iota: What!? Oh come on, everyone knows that CX is gonna be the first one to die
CX: WHAT!? Why the hell do you say that!?
Iota: Cause it’s you, you get beaten half to crap. Usually the moron is the one who gets killed first
CX: Funny I thought it was the drunken fiend
Iota: Pfft, please, I know I won’t die.
Tiff: Why not?
Iota: Cause it’s me, I’m like the figurehead for Nick’s Gang, he would neeeevvvveeer let anyone kill me! Besides, I’m a natural born survivor!
Edge: Survivor of what?
Iota: I survived living with you haven’t I?
Trisha: Vandir, stay here!
Iota: Oh would you relax, I’ll be fine! And I promise you that I will not be the first to die!
*Scene cuts fifteen minutes later where Iota is killed with pipes lodged into his neck, mouth, and body, with a tank right beside him. The group all looks at the murder, moment of silence*
CX: “Ohhhhh CX is gonna be the one to die first!” Enjoy your stay in hell you blue haired twit! *looks at Isura distraught* Um…My condolences!
Edge: What the heck is with all the pipes inside of Blue Hair
ULX: I know!
Tiff: You do?
ULX: Yup *pulls out a glass putting it in one of the pipes in Iota’s mouth* Watch *tilts Iota’s head up, as whiskey pours out, tilts back and pulls the glass out* Iota has now become a liquor dispenser!
Nick’s Gang: *Gasps*
Nick: His worse fear, recognized!
Cross: What a way to go!
Trisha: *looks at Iota’s neck* He’s still here!
Stacy: What do we do sis?
Trisha: I think we better split up, look for him in teams
ULX: Isn’t splitting up what got Iota killed?
Trisha: Yes, but splitting up to find a killer with a partner beside you is not what Iota did. He split up alone to satisfy his own craving of liquor.
ULX: Good point! Let’s split up, and if anything happens just do what CX does
Red: Scream like a little coward until all of us come to the general vicinity?
ULX: Exactly
CX: Go…to…hell!
Nick: Iota got the head start on us
Isura: Poor Iota…I wonder how he is
*Scene cuts to a beautiful resort full of beautiful gorgeous women where Iota [FG1] is standing there*
Iota: Huh…nice place…wonder where the bar is
Beautiful Lady #222: Oh don’t you know, Hell is a dry zone. No alcohol here, ever! *skips away*
Iota: *eye twitches* …*falls to his knees* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
*Scene cuts back to the group*
CX: I-Is it wrong that I’m happy thinking of Iota’s suffering
ULX: Not as long as it’s okay for me to think that too.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Scene cuts to ULX and Tiff creeping around the house*
Tiff: Oh man this place is really giving me the creeps
ULX: Tell me about it
Tiff: I am tempted though, since we’re alone…and Iota’s dead
ULX: Not here
Tiff: What? Why not?
ULX: Tiff, you know slasher films always have the people who have sex always die because they’re too busy getting it on.
Tiff: Oh…*shrugs* Well they die happy, at least
ULX: Heh, Killer orgasm
Tiff: Heh, like experiencing heaven before going to hell
.*Moment of silence before ULX and Tiff latch onto each other and make out*
ULX: *lets go* We shouldn’t, we’d become target
Tiff: Don’t care, Tiffy want sexy man lips and more!*kisses him*
*Bloodcurdling scream is heard. Both stop making out*
Tiff and ULX: SON OF A BITCH!
ULX: Come on…
Tiff: Yea, I’m coming…stupid murderer
*Scene cuts to a dead Cole where split in half on the floor, one side covered in gold. Group all look over the scene. *
Rose: Oh god…*covers her mouth, crying*
Trisha: How the hell did this happen, weren’t you two together!?
Rose: Well, Cole said he heard a noise and went to go check it out. He told me to stay put. Then I heard him scream and then I found him like this.
Edge: …Quick question…um…and it may not be relevant but…did you kiss him before he left?
Rose: …y-yea
*Everyone except Rose starts agreeing*
CX: See that’s what happened
Lap: Death by Yoko
*Scene cuts to GLX with a very pissed off Yoko [TTGL]*
GLX: …Who did you kiss just before they died?
Yoko: …You can go straight to hell *kicks GLX in the balls*
GLX: AH GOD! THE LITTLE LORDS! *falls to the floor*
*Scene cuts back to the group*
Trisha: *examines the body* Damn it!
Cris: Why don’t you radio for back up?
Trisha: I tried, there’s no reception here
Nick: So go where there is!
Trisha: And let the murderous person escape?
Nick: If it involves us living…THEN YES!
Trisha: Too bad, you’re stuck here and if you die…then…*looks away, unenthusiastic* Then it’ll be a loss for the world…and shit
Nick: Great motivational speech Trisha
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Scene cuts to ULX and Tiff creeping around again*
Tiff: You know…we could restart fr-
ULX: Tiff!
Tiff: What!?
ULX: *points*
*Scene cuts back showing Rose with them*
Tiff: …Rose, do you mind walking around somewhere…alone…
ULX: Tiffany
Tiff: FINE! *crosses arms*
Rose: I…I just can’t believe Cole is gone…*glares* I bet Edge is making a joke about that
ULX: My money’s on…
*Suddenly a loud “HA” is heard sounding like Cross*
ULX: Just as I thought, Red made the joke
Rose: Grrr…I’m going to kill that man who stole my love!
Tiff: You know it’s kinda funny Rose…almost…*stops*…coincidental
Rose: *blinks and stops* What do you mean?
Tiff: Well think about it, Iota was killed first after the whole butchering of Rena, Manami and Sirus, then Cole…and you’ve been here the entire night
Rose: Tiff! You’re accusing me of the murders!?
Tiff: It just seems coincidental, I mean you kill your ex-boyfriend’s friends, then your ex, then Cole
Rose: And why would I kill Cole?
Tiff: …*shrugs* The Dynast?
Rose: …I did want to hurt him for leaving me, but I hardly th-
Tiff: No, No, I mean the Dynast Arc in general
Rose: Tiff…you have to believe me, I’m not the killer
ULX’s Voice: Uh, guys…Rose isn’t the killer
Tiff: How do you know!?
*Scene cuts to Allison and Amazon dead one on top of each other both heads in each other’s crotch*
Rose: …uh…
Tiff: …Okay, Rose is off the hook…sorry Rose
Rose: S’okay…wow
ULX: Strangely enough, this is not the dirtiest position I’ve seen these two in.
Rose and Tiff: Agreed
ULX: Still disturbing in a horror flick way.
Rose: What do we do?
ULX: *looks at their necks* Brand is on them…I say we keep going
Tiff: Right…
Rose: *sighs* Alright…we’ll go…It’s just so creepy…seeing our friends die like this
ULX: Don’t worry girls, I’ll be here, and I’ll let nothing hurt you girls! You have my wo-
*Suddenly a model of the Gullwings [FFX-2] ship tears right through ULX’s body*
ULX: …*looks at it*…well isn’t that a kick in the nuts
Tiff: CHRISTIAN!
ULX: *falls to his knees* Gonna take more than a hole in my chest to kill m-
*Suddenly a statue of Yuna [FFX-2] slams into ULX’s head, tearing it clean off*
Tiff: CHRISTIAN! *falls to the floor*
*The other scurry in*
CX: What ha- CHRIS!
Trisha: *looks at the body* This one has no brand!
Rose: That’s cause it happened like right now!
Trisha: SPREAD OUT! The Killer is close!
*The group agrees and start running around the house*
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Scene cuts to Edge running around with a painting*
Edge: Don’t know body move, I know how to use this!
*Suddenly a shadow creeps towards Edge behind him*
Edge: *turns around* A-HA! *blinks* Oh…it’s you…For a minute there I thought it was some homicidal maniac trying to rip out my lungs
*The shadow gives a blow-up doll and a case of beer to Edge*
Edge: …*sniff* I love you *takes both* If anyone needs me…I’ll be…occupying myself. *runs off*
Shadow: *blinks*
*Edge enters a room and starts making noise inside of it*
Edge’s Voice: Hey…heyyyy…this doll has a hole! *sniffs* This isn’t air…it smells
*Moment of silence*
Edge’s Voice: Ah crap, I’m gonna die aren’t I…well at least I can spoil the ending. THE KILLER IS-
*Suddenly the room explodes in a fiery explosion. Scene cuts back to Hell where Edge [FG1] appears in front of Iota*
Edge: IOTA!
Iota: GAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Edge: *looks away* Tsh, Drama Queen…wait…I got the shortest ending!
Beautiful Woman #453: You also have no penis anymore, and we’re all very hungry for cock.
Edge: …*looks inside of his pants, falls to his knees* NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Scene cuts to the group looking at the explosion area. Trisha examining the area*
Trisha: …Pretty sure this was done by blow up doll explosion
CX: How can you be certain?
Trisha: *pulls a blow up doll’s rubber head up from the rubble* Oh…call it a hunch.
Nick: So Edge is dead…
Kyo: How can you be so sure it was Edge?
Nick: Who else would be blown up by a blow up doll?
*Everyone is about to speak*
Nick: BESIDES CX
*Everyone goes silent*
CX: Oh you all can go straight to hell!
Trisha: Alright people, we have ourselves a killer, and the more time we spend here the more time he’s planning our demise!
Nick: Right, we have to strike, and strike now!
Trisha: Actually I meant we shoul-
Nick: NO MORE WILL WE BE KILLED! NOW WE WILL BRING THE KILLING TO HIM!
Trisha: Uh
Nick: WHO’S WITH ME!?
*Everyone except Trisha cheers*
Nick: NOW LET’S GO OUT THERE AND GET THAT KILLER!
*Everyone except Trisha charges out*
Trisha: …*rubs her temples* I really need to get new people to hang around. Maybe 4Chan people
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Scene cuts to Red and Cross walking down the halls. Cross stealing things as they pass*
Red: Ya know...there’s a slim chance none of us will live…so stealing might be useless here
Cross: Meh, it’s a force of habit at this point now Red *steals a painting*
*Suddenly a blood drops from the ceiling and into a pool of blood on the floor*
Red: Uh…huh…what was that?
*Both Red and Cross look up and see Rose on a crucifix nailed by her hands and arms and her neck slit*
Red: Sweet Jesus!
Cross: Holy Sacreligiousness Red man!
Red: Never say that again
Cross: Wow…
*Moment of silence*
Cross: …So this would be the first time she got nailed huh?
Red: Yup, I think we’re going to hell Cross
Cross: I regret nothing I’ve ever done in my life
Red: Maybe you should
Tiff’s Voice: AHHH!
*Red and Cross look down and see Tiff standing there hand over her mouth*
Tiff: Oh my god, Rose…not you too!
Cross: Heyyy, you were with Rose. *points* YOU’RE THE KILLER!
Red: No she isn’t
Cross: She isn’t?
Red: Nope, I know who the real killer is
Cross: THEN TELL US!
Red: I need more proof
Cross: No you don’t, you just wanna be a know it all douchebag
Red: A little from Column A, a little from Column B
Cross: Dick
Tiff: I swear I didn’t think getting branded would be so bad
Red: You were branded?
Tiff: We both were, Rose managed to get me away!
Cross: *looks at her neck* Yup…she has the mark!
Red: Do you happen to see the person
Tiff: No…I don’t know, it all happened so fast…
Red: Hmm…come Watson, we must alert the others of such a heinous crime!
Cross: I thought you were the gentlemen boxer?
Red: I am, but I can be Sherlock as well, asshat
Cross: Fiiine
*The rest of the group come to the scene*
CX: What the hell ha- *looks up* Oh….shit…
Cris: *teary eyes and writes down, “R-Rose!?”*
Nick: Damn…Crucified…what a way to go…
*Suddenly Rose’s bra falls off. Everyone looks up*
CX: …Best…Death…EVER!
Trisha: Damn it…was she marked?
Tiff: So was I
Trisha: You were…but you’re still alive!
Tiff: *nods* I know
CX: Well don’t worry Tiff, we’ll protect you!
Nick: Yea, nothing will stop us from protecting you!
*Suddenly a giant X-Box slams into Tiff from the ceiling, killing her*
CX: …Nick’s fault
Nick: Oh go to hell!
CX: Alright, everyone who’s still alive to the study! I think it’s time I cracked this puzzle!
Stacy: Oh? You solved it?
CX: PERHAPS!
Red: Why am I not feeling good about this?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Scene shows everyone still alive a study with CX pacing back and forth*
Trisha: Alright, Radioshack, what’s your assumption?
CX: Thank you constable
Red: No, Sherlock is my gimmick…you’re the one who shows his penis to a movie screen
CX: FINE! In any case I do believe I may have solved this puzzle as to WHO the killer truly is!
Isura: So who is it?
CX: Let’s run down the list. First it was a trio of murders, Manami, Rena, and Sirus. Sirus and Manami were no doubt innocent bystanders for the true target, Rena! Rena must have found something, something incriminating from one of us to the point where if anyone found out, she would be dead. Then came the second death, Iota, staging it to be the perfect crime for ULX to pull seeing how he tap was always dry because of the Irish blue haired bum. Then the third murder, Cole, a pretty boy that was split in half because of his two sides, Rich and Poor…One side Cross would love…
Cross: HEY! I don’t kill anyone for money
CX: Allow me to finish. Of course Cross is innocent, he has cunning, not murderous intent. Then Allison and Amazon were killed, both in the height of their passion. Two people the GODS had quite an interesting relationship with
GLX’s Voice: You saying I did it?
CX: Possibly! But then ULX was killed, which begged the question, why? Why kill someone you know has value…Then Edge was killed, many people had motive for him to die, so anyone could be to blame, especially women. Then of course there was Rose and Tiff, both branded, and that is where I think the killer slipped up, that’s where the madman had a soft spot. Or should I say…*points to Stacy* MAD WOMAN!
Stacy: …You can’t be fucking serious
CX: Admit it, all of these murders, ALL OF THEM, elaborate because people told you to off them, people hired you as a blade, keeping their hands dirty. YOU STACY SANTOS! ARE THE BRAND NAME KILLER!
Stacy: Where the hell would I find the time to do all this?
CX: AHHHHH save your excuses for the court! *looks at Trisha* Book her Santos!
Trisha: My sister couldn’t have killed anyone…
CX: *sighs* That is why she got away, the softness of her sister’s heart.
Trisha: *grabs CX’s neck* Look here you…my sister didn’t kill anyone!
*Moment of silence*
Trisha: Okay, she didn’t kill anyone tonight.
CX: HA! A likely story!
Stacy: CX! I didn’t kill anyone!
CX: PROVE IT!
*Suddenly a scythe runs right across Stacy’s neck, chopping her head clean off. Moment of silence*
CX: …o-okay…that’s good proof…very good proof
Nick: Thinking you were probably wrong now, huh?
CX: Quiet you!
*Scene cuts to GCX and GLX*
GLX: Half of the Bing are gone, what will happen next? What strange horrors will occur? A-
GCX: What happened to Cosmos? *looks around*
GLX: Oh…let’s just say *holds up a bloody cleaver* He asked too much questions
GCX: …*looks at the audience* H-Help
GLX: Stay tuned next time!
- TO BE CONTINUED -
Costumes:
ULX - Adam
Blade from Needless
Tiff - Eve
from Needless
Iota - Guile
from Street Fighter
CX - Dr.
Manhattan from Watchmen
Lap - Laurie
(Silk Spectre) from Watchmen
Nick - Dan
from Street Fighter
Trisha - Solva
from Needless
Stacy - Seto
from Needless
Cole - Kittan
from TTGL
Rose - Yoko
from TTGL
Cris - Kuchinashi
from Needless
Kyo - Sagat
from Street Fighter
Edge - Viral from
TTGL
Isura - Cammy
from Street Fighter
Red - Dudley
from Street Fighter
Amazon - The
Boss from MGS3
Allison - EVA from
MGS3
GLX - Lordgenome from TTGL
GCX - Ozymandias
from Watchmen
Cosmos - Boota
from TTGL